It was one of those nights when you have no work the following day (which is so rare since I started working again and which is something I am not so used to anymore) when I decided to catch up on my reading.
Hmmm, the title’s intriguing. Will it be a coming out of a hidden desire for someone named John? Of finally having the courage to say those unspoken words and revealing those secret feelings? I read on.
And then I got curious all the more – it is John who is speaking. Interesting. I’m more hooked into novels like that, when it is the guy’s perspective you are ‘hearing’. I mean, like the Twilight saga, the one that leaked – Edward‘s side of the story. I love it. Guys and girls really do not think alike and they really do have different ways of acting on it.
And as I read on, I can’t help not crying. And it’s not just the silent one, i was literally sobbing until I finished the whole book because all the things John exposed in that story hit me where it still hurts the most.
So, here, Dear John, I totally am one with you on these things:
1. Love at first sight rarely happens. It’s usually the second or the third encounters or the time you really put an effort to focus your thoughts on the other person, like what happened between you and Savannah, that you can find something so adorable or amusing about that person.
2. Falling for someone does not require a ‘standard’ or an ‘acceptable’ timeframe. It happens when it happens – as you two feel it. Who cares if you just met a few days ago or if you shared only a couple of moments together? What matters is you both feel it and you are both willing to give it a really good shot.
3. Long distance relationship will never really work. Some might say, yeah, it will work, but only until one has to give up something just to address that long distance thing, which will eventually lead to falling out as well. Or it ‘might work’, yes, but only for a couple of months because at some point, someone will question the essence of being in that relationship, and when there’s that questioning part – the relationship’s doomed.
4. The honeymoon stage of any relationship is the sweetest and the craziest and the silliest and the ones that can still put a smile on one’s face just remembering those memories even after so many years have gone by. The thing is, it is also the shortest.
5. Respect for your loved one’s decision, no matter how painful or unfair it was for you, is the most noble act of showing and of attesting how you truly love that person. When it was said that it’s over, then it’s over, period. No begging, no asking for second chance, but there will always be those questions. And it was never easy especially if you already know the answers to the questions.
There will be attempts or testing the water stage after some time but respect for the current situation will weigh heavier than your selfish need to prove something about yourself. And if the love was so great – the hurt and the pain rarely leaves that even the ‘power’ of time to heal it has no use for it especially when things, like novels, like this can suddenly bring you back where you’re trying to move on from.
And just like what John realized, loving someone should bring joy and happiness – not pain or whatever negative feeling there is.
“That’s why I don’t tell people about us. They wouldn’t understand, and I don’t feel the need to explain, simply because I know in my heart how real it was.”