“… That’s all part of the decision that you made. That decision to be happy with your life with or without **** … I understand how devastated you are right now, but you need that *** for the moment. Don’t waste it just yet. It was given to you for a reason… “
I rarely catch up on my friends these days but when I did go online last night, I happened to be a witness of this turning point of the love stories of my two closest friends and my emotions were literally split between them.
L wants to chat on FB but I suggested we use Google Talk instead. While waiting for her to go online, I saw C’s available so I started a conversation to really check if she’s there. And she replied and opened it with what happened between her and K just before that. I was so sad knowing they almost ended it – and felt sad even more knowing what could have been the reason – differences that they managed to handle well for the last four years.
And then L on the other chatbox was so excited and was so happy because her long-distance love is on his way from Australia to spend the whole week with her here. And she can’t even describe how excited she was knowing he’s already boarding the plane and will be here early in the morning. I was as excited and so happy for her because I’ve long seen her that happy and she deserves it.
My emotions were on a rollercoaster all those times – I can’t help not to feel for both of them at the same time – one is a relationship that is being tested after years of shared commitment and loyalty and the other one is a three-month long distance relationship that is just starting and will yet have to stand the test of time and proximity. Bottomline – all parties in these two relationships made a compromise because in the end, it’s still their love that weighs heavily than their differences.
Funny thing is, C and L also ended our chat at the same time and for the same reason – sleep. C excused herself because her head already hurts from crying while L needs to sleep in preparation for A’s arrival.
So while they both try to doze off, I, on the other hand was left with a lot of thoughts to ponder on and I literally can’t sleep. Is love really braver at the start – willing to take any risks and everything? Is it more meaningful and more real when there is already pain that comes in loving someone so much that sometimes, making a difficult decision is no longer optional but necessary? How long can compromises keep up and make up for the differences?
I used to wait for the newspaper‘s special features every February. They usually allot a number of pages talking about love and happy endings that I find myself cutting the articles which in turn always leaves me daydreaming forever *exaggerating.
I can’t forget one that published people’s well-kept or treasured love letters that even after so many years, you can still feel their emotions as if their love story is happening once again, at that very moment as you read it. Like a long lost memory coming to life. And not just the joy – even the pain is as real and as hurtful.
So, I came up with this conclusion that maybe, just maybe, this month is really meant for us to become vulnerable to a lot of things – sweet nothings, romantic stints, hearts and sweets and flowers … argh, even the topic they start and the music they play on my favorite radio programs :p
If February, according to Wikipedia, is the only month of the year that can pass without a single full moon, then why are all the lunatics coming out and not let this month pass just like that. I can feel my own vulnerability making its presence so strong as early as last week of January, tsk tsk, getting so in touch with my emotions – not a good sign, dear self *wink
Nah, this is just a disclaimer, really, because in the coming days, just like in the newspapers, I’ll be posting more about love and memories and
happy endings because if last month is my birthday month and I can cry like a star all I want to, hey, it’s February now and I’m giving in to this lunacy and just have all the excuse I can think of to be mushy, yeah? 🙂 After all, this might be my only chance to living those memories one more time. Love, Atty. Rikki