I was at that ‘phase’ when I am decided to throw everything away again for a reason I myself was not convinced – self fulfillment gone empty.
I was praying and praying but instead of finding justifications for my rather impulsive decision, the more I was being shown that I have all the reasons to stay and to continue my success story for the very simple reason that everything is a blessing from Him and I am, in return, is being a blessing to others especially to my family and to the people around me.
I came across this book one Saturday, when I promised my ate that I’ll take care of my nieces’ school needs (It’s the start of the school year here in the Philippines and kids really look forward to the day they’ll shop for their new bags, shoes, school supplies, etc.).
My boss, having the biggest heart I’ve ever known, allowed me to leave work earlier than usual to realize this promise I made to my dearies who came all the way from our province in Quezon for this. I met them at SM Megamall and I’m so happy the whole time because it reminds me of me and my ate’s childhood days that even if it is so tiring, carrying my nieces JC and RJ most of the time, I feel like I’m being a big sister to my ate taking care of her kids.
When we were already at the National Bookstore for the kids’ school supplies, I saw the store’s current best sellers and this Aleph is the number one. I have no plans buying a book that time knowing that I do not have time for that these days but something told me I needed it without even looking at the back part to know what this book is all about so I included it in our purchase.
Exactly a week after that, I have finished reading the book. Funny thing is, it is also the same day as my supposedly last day. Was I able to reclaim my kingdom the whole time I was going on with Paulo’s journey to finding where he wants to be, doing what he wants to do?
When I talk of right time, I talk of these points I got from Paulo and Hilal’s Aleph that made me realize we all go through phases like this at some point in our life, but reading this when I am exactly at this phase … it’s not just timely, I know this is divine.
So here are the 26 points in their journey that made me feel like I am reading my very own life notes in my 26 years of existence:
1. Now and then I go through periods of inner conflict that can persist for months … long enough to keep me frustrated because I can’t absorb everything I learn.
2. When a sense of dissatisfaction persists, it was placed there by God for one reason only: you need to change everything and move forward
3. Here I am trying to persuade myself that I always give the best of myself, and nature is telling me exactly the opposite: anyone truly committed to life never stops walking
4. We will always need to be humble enough to accept that our hearts know why we are here… We simply have to trust and follow the signs and live our Personal Legend;
5. If I believe I will win, then victory will believe in me. No life is complete without a touch of madness.
6. I learned long ago that in order to heal my wounds, I must have the courage to face up to them. I also learned to forgive myself and correct my mistakes.
7. We need to be strangers to ourselves. Then the hidden light in our souls will illuminate what we need to see.
8. Routine has nothing to do with repetition. To become really good at anything, you have to practice and repeat, practice and repeat, until the technique becomes intuitive
9. What hurts us is what heals us
10. Dreamers can never be tamed
11. We learn in the past but we are not the result of that. We suffered in the past, loved in the past, cried and laughed in the past, but that’s of no use to the present. The present has its challenges, its good and bad side. We can neither blame nor be grateful to the past for what is happening now. Each new experience of love has nothing whatsoever to do with past experiences. It’s always new.
12. People aren’t used to that way of thinking. They want everything to stay the same – and the consequence of that is pain.
13. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your successes or failures are entirely your own responsibility.
14. It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory … visit your soul; don’t visit your past
15. We are both creators and creatures, but we are also puppets in God’s hands, and there is a line we cannot cross, a line that was drawn for reasons we cannot know.
16. Being alone may make me more vulnerable but it makes me more open, too
17. Train your heart. That is the discipline every warrior needs. If you can control your heart, then you will defeat your opponent
18. The best way to prepare for a challenge is to cultivate the ability to call on an infinite variety of responses
19. The search for peace is a form of prayer that generates light and heat. Forget about yourself for a while and understand that in that light lies wisdom and in that heat lies compassion
20. We can never wound the soul … , but we can become imprisoned by our memories, and that makes our lives wretched even when we have everything we need in order to be happy
21. Let us concentrate all our efforts on achieving Perfection through the imperfect gestures of everyday life. True wisdom means respecting the simple things we do, for they can take us where we need to go.
22. Going back into the past and reopening old wounds is neither easy nor particularly important.
23. A warrior in search of his dream must take his inspiration from what he actually does and not from what he imagines himself doing
24.Sometimes you have to travel a long way to find what is near
25. That’s what makes life interesting – believing in treasures and in miracles
26. Only two things can reveal life’s great secrets: suffering and love
At the end of my reading, I found light and I found myself getting out of that phase and found myself moving forward again to realizing my dreams by being here – in the present.
My friend L’s right, this is just a phase and true to what she said that this, too, shall pass – this has passed and I’m so back spreading my love. Hope you find your Aleph, too.