Monday Thoughtsy: New Chapter, Never-Changing Purpose

In times of uncertainties, you’d really know you have an amazing God when after sending in your real-life angel to reinforce His love and your purpose in this life, he still found way to talk to you in another amazing way. The Daily Bread thoughtsy waiting for me when I got home: about ‘Pressing On’. Thank you, Lord, you’re spoiling me with so much love, will do the same to the people around me. I love you

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Dear John, Nicholas Sparks Made Me Crying the Whole Night

It was one of those nights when you have no work the following day (which is so rare since I started working again and which is something I am not so used to anymore) when I decided to catch up on my reading.

I haven’t read a good book for quite a while now, only newspapers once a week, so I picked up this one by Nicholas SparksDear John.

Hmmm, the title’s intriguing. Will it be a coming out of a hidden desire for someone named John? Of finally having the courage to say those unspoken words and revealing those secret feelings? I read on.

And then I got curious all the more – it is John who is speaking. Interesting. I’m more hooked into novels like that, when it is the guy’s perspective you are ‘hearing’. I mean, like the Twilight saga, the one that leaked – Edward‘s side of the story. I love it. Guys and girls really do not think alike and they really do have different ways of acting on it.

And as I read on, I can’t help not crying. And it’s not just the silent one, i was literally sobbing until I finished the whole book because all the things John exposed in that story hit me where it still hurts the most.

So, here, Dear John, I totally am one with you on these things:

1. Love at first sight rarely happens. It’s usually the second or the third encounters or the time you really put an effort to focus your thoughts on the other person, like what happened between you and Savannah, that you can find something so adorable or amusing about that person.

2. Falling for someone does not require a ‘standard’ or an ‘acceptable’ timeframe. It happens when it happens – as you two feel it. Who cares if you just met a few days ago or if you shared only a couple of moments together? What matters is you both feel it and you are both willing to give it a really good shot.

3. Long distance relationship will never really work. Some might say, yeah, it will work, but only until one has to give up something just to address that long distance thing, which  will eventually lead to falling out as well. Or it  ‘might work’, yes, but only for a couple of months because at some point, someone will question the essence of being in that relationship, and when there’s that questioning part – the relationship’s doomed.

4. The honeymoon stage of any relationship is the sweetest and the craziest and the silliest and the ones that can still put a smile on one’s face just remembering those memories even after so many years have gone by. The thing is, it is also the shortest.

5. Respect for your loved one’s decision, no matter how painful or unfair it was for you, is the most noble act of showing and of attesting how you truly love that person. When it was said that it’s over, then it’s over, period. No begging, no asking for second chance, but there will always be those questions. And it was never easy especially if you already know the answers to the questions.

There will be attempts or testing the water stage after some time  but respect for the current situation will weigh heavier than your selfish need to prove something about yourself. And if the love was so great – the hurt and the pain rarely leaves that even the ‘power’ of time to heal it has no use for it especially when things, like novels, like this can suddenly bring you back where you’re trying to move on from.

And just like what John realized, loving someone should bring joy and happiness – not pain or whatever negative feeling there is.

“That’s why I don’t tell people about us. They wouldn’t understand, and I don’t feel the need to explain, simply because I know in my heart how real it was.”

May Asim Pa

I used to hear this whenever Madam Auring is on the news. Well, who would not say so with all those young partners and controversial affairs that she has at her age.

Well, I’m no Madam Auring and I don’t feel the need yet to follow her footsteps but somehow, I felt that asim thingy worked for me, too.

So, one grows up and part of that phase is losing some things or some interest to some things. Partying is no longer fun compare to just hanging out with friends just sipping coffee and catching up on each other’s life. The topics have changed, too! Now it’s more on serious things like career, travel and learning.

Entertaining people also stopped being fun. It has become scary unlike before when someone sending you a drink and paying for your bills seem ego-boosting and confidence-building.

You’ve already experienced all those things that now, those were just part of your past and it no longer interest you. Until one night, after sipping coffee with your girlfriends and while you’re catching up on your whereabouts, someone came over and asked for your number.

And then a tiny, tiny part of your being got thrilled. And it was such a long time since you last felt it. So once more, like a college girl, you gave it impulsively only to realize seconds after that, that hey! you’ve grown past that phase already. But then you thought, it’s your call whether to ignore or to entertain the call and the text.

You were still pondering on that thought when suddenly the guys from the next table called your attention and asked if it’s okay for them to join you and your friend. It surprised you definitely, but you take control this time. You courteously said no, thank you, we’re good and then tried your best to ignore their hirit and parinig.

Now that was remarkable.

You see, having that asim in you is not a bad thing. In fact, you now have all the advantages. You’re wiser now. You can be more in control of the situation. Just enjoy the feeling it gives you and don’t overdo things.

Just look at Madam Auring and how she glows during interviews and all. She’s still blushing and she feels like she’s still in high school feeling so good inside. Okay, maybe Madam Auring is not a good example. But think about it. It will do you good having that confidence back once more.

What are you waiting for? Go out with your friends and check if you still have that asim!

Respect 101

My former boss, Sir Wawa, once told me, respect is something you’ve to earn, it’s not something you force people around you to do. I totally agree but I realized, respect is something you have to learn as well. If you can’t have it, at least try your best to know it and give it, who knows it’s the only thing you need for you to have it in return.

This act might appear somewhat big but a lot of times, it manifests on the simplest of things, take the following examples:

1. Respect for the things you no longer have.

Yes, it’s not easy to totally let go of the things you are accustomed to but you’ve to accept the fact that once you’ve decided to throw it away, someone or somebody else will pick it up and own it and perhaps, put more value to it than what you are capable of doing. Lesson, think a hundred times first before you decide to leave, and stop coming back for it. You left it, forget about it. After all, it’s you who wanted it.

2. Respect for somebody else’s feelings.

Not because you want to prove something about yourself, you have to do anything and everything even if it will cause a strain to other people’s happiness or peace. You still want to test the waters, fine. But what does it say about you?

3. Respect for yourself.

Look at you after what you’ve done. Did you get what you’ve come back for? Did it make you happy? Like what Sir Wawa said, you’ve to earn it and what better way to do it than respecting yourself first.