Life Begins with a Clean Slate; Living Again … When you Learn How to Stop

If there are two most important things we cannot take for granted in this life, those are time and the words we say.

One of my greatest inspirations, Steve Jobs, said ‘ You cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards’

Looking at what has been my life for more than 25 years, I literally lived it backwards.

For the first 23 years, I acted as if I know it all. I lived independently and purely on and for my own. I explored the things around me and I didn’t wait to experience it all.

At 24, I experienced my ‘first love’ and I finally opened my self to another person wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

At 25, I  felt the greatest heart break and it has taken me back to where I should really start – to begin to understand life and the essence of living – living not for oneself, but for others.

‘Slowly but surely’ – this is how I thought I always work. What I fail to realize is I’m taking my time by doing it one at a time – I live. I love. I learn.

I was doing it all wrong. Still, I didn’t see it that way even after God gave me a clean slate to work on.

I’m so busy getting my way to get back on track as if that will put meaning to those 25 years of my life. And each time I thought I’m almost there – about to start a new chapter of my life – there will always be delays and postponements and a lot of ‘dead times’ in between. And this happens over and over again for the last one and a half months and counting.

So I stopped.

If there are two things we cannot take for granted in this life, those are time and the words we say and there’s NO RUSH when it comes to these.

‘One lives in the hope of becoming a memory’,  Antonio Porchia said.

And a meaningful memory I want to live and to leave so I’ll take my time. This time, I’ll do it all at the same time – love and live and learn at God’s perfect time.

In the meantime … tick tock tick tock. Love, Rikki.

Today I Fell in Love with Antonio’s Voice

I knew people like him. And people like him never fail to catch my interest and curiosity. I never really meant to stalk him – no, it was never really my intention. I was only trying to know him a little more.


Oh, how, I love the sound of his name. I love even just the thought of speaking his name.

I knew people like him but this is the first time I encountered him. Where was he during my five years in college? Why haven’t we met even when I did a teaching stint for one sem? Where have you been all my life, Antonio?

But Antonio’s more complicated than I thought he was.

I knew people like him and I know they are not the typical ones. No, they are hard to understand. One usually needs to go deep just to have a glimpse of what they are – of what they are trying to say, at least.

Antonio’s different.

He’s easy to read but he won’t let you have just one understanding of what he’s putting into your head.

I knew people like him but in his complicatedness, I got more into him I even felt we are connecting in ways more than I could ever imagine.

And then Antonio said, ‘times when I understand myself a little, I understand others less’. Maybe I was already understanding Antonio and the people like him a little that’s why I’m struggling with what I’m trying to point out here.

I feel for Antonio, feel like I and him – we are just the same. I feel exactly the same thing he does. We connected instantly – or I connected to Antonio in an instant.

Antonio and his Voice, I shall never forget.

I knew people like him. They are admired but are usually forgotten. I don’t want Antonio to be just like them. Complicated and mysterious as he is, it doesn’t matter. Today I fell in love with Antonio’s Voice, and I will never let another poet to just be silenced.

the man behind the Voice

‘One lives in the hope of becoming a memory’.